I, Zombie by Nick Spalding

A story of the thinking dead!

"My name is Jim Monroe, and I am a zombie.
My natural life on this planet has ceased and I've been re-animated to stalk the world as a pale, hollow imitation of my former self.
I'm different from my undead brethren though... I'm a zombie with a brain.
This is the short, shocking story of how I came to be this way."

I, Zombie is a comedy horror short story from Nick Spalding (writing as Clive Bonnet) and is featured in his fantasy novel The Cornerstone. To find out more about Nick and buy his other books, visit his author's page at the link below.

Jim wakes up in the morgue and finds that everyone outside is also a zombie but, unlike him, they're all brainless and tend to just shamble along and eat other body parts. The book is basically Jim writing down his thoughts on being a zombie in the hopes that someone may find it in the future and realise that zombies aren't all brain dead dead.

This was another hilarious short read, again this one only took me one lunch hour to read but it was really funny. There are a fair few Laugh Out Loud moments which, for such a short story, seems a much bigger achievement.


Amazon UK: I, Zombie

Dead (Ish) by Naomi Kramer

Linda’s had a bad day. First her boyfriend killed her. Then she woke up, still on this boring plane of existence, and with an odd obsession about her missing body. Mike won’t tell her what he did with her body, and she can’t find the stupid thing herself. There’s only one thing she can do - torment the bastard until he coughs up the information.

It's no shock to anyone who knows me that the reason I bought this book was purely because of the cover. Little cute skulls will always make me go, "Ooooh".

I loved this book, it was really funny and a very quick read. I read it on my lunch hour at work. And even though it uses the exact style which I was just saying I hated in another review, I could look past that because the book was just so easy to read.

Linda is a funny lead and the way she keeps trying to get revenge on Mike is just brilliant. Lets just say he never knows what he'll look like when he wakes up. There are others in this series, with similarly cute covers which I am now going to read, I don't know if it is a series as such or just books with similar storylines.


Amazon UK: DEAD(ish)

Panty Raid @ Zombie High by Rusty Fischer

Toby’s best friend, and unrequited love, Molly Harper has gone missing. Molly’s boyfriend, "Spud", thinks he knows where she’s been taken: the mysterious Zombie High, where Spud’s father just happens to be in charge of the top-secret medical facility famous for its work rehabilitating teenage zombies.

Armed with blueprints, passwords, keys and codes, Spud and Toby are ready to make an all-out assault on Zombie High and rescue their fair Molly. There’s just one problem: Toby and Spud are the biggest wimps at Cypress Cove High and need some muscle along for the ride in case any of the zombies get loose.

That’s where Boner and Zack come in. Two of the football team’s biggest players, the jocks are easily conned into joining Spud and Toby on their fictional "panty raid" the minute Spud calls them “chicken” for not accepting his challenge to spend the night at Zombie High.

When Zack and Boner show up to accept the challenge, however, they don’t come alone; they bring their two girlfriends, Lilac and Haley, along for the ride. With events spiraling out of control and zombies lurking around every corner, will Toby and Spud even survive their night at Zombie High, let alone rescue Molly?

This book is written in 1st person but it's that annoying first person style where the narrator is talking to you (the reader) and asking questions and such. I am not a fan of this style, it bugs me. Write in first, second, third person - fine, but I just don't like the narrator asking me questions.

The story itself had a good basis. There was a zombie outbreak and the government are trying to rehabilitate the teenage zombie by using "zombie panties", which are kind of like those horrible shock collars you get for dogs. The two guys create a false raid with two jocks so they can get in to rescue Molly, but that's not the whole plan.

I liked the idea of the zombie rehabilitation and trying to train them and such but I wasn't a fan of this author's writing. I don't tend to like YA books that make the teens sound like adults trying to sound like teens, which I realise most YA is but if that's case just don't try to make them sound like teens.


Amazon UK: Panty Raid at Zombie High

The Stubborn Dead by Natasha Hoar

Rachel Miller thought her next job was a run-of-the-mill haunting. As a member of the Order of Rescue Mediums it's her duty to release trapped spirits from the earthly realm. But when called to client Sylvia Elkeles's house, she finds a wraith who doesn't act like he should.

The Order considers the wraith an extreme threat and Rachel may be forced to use a barbaric ritual to free him — a ritual that comes with a heavy personal price. If she fails to humanely release the wraith, she'll have her supernatural abilities bound.

When Janus Ostara — local supernatural mob boss — shows up demanding her attention, and Sylvia keeps secrets that may place Rachel in mortal danger, she doesn't need her abilities to know something darkly sinister is at play.

Between uncovering Sylvia's disturbing motives, and avoiding Janus, Rachel has enough on her hands without dealing with a wraith who may not realize he's supposed to be dead...

This is book 1 in the Lost Souls series and I really enjoyed it. As usual, Carina Press are bringing some really good authors into the light. Natasha Hoar's writing style and characters are enjoyable, she manages to make you keep turning pages. A sign of a good author for me, is when I don't want to put the book down, even thought I know I have to go to sleep since I'm working early the next morning. Natasha Hoar managed this.

Rachel is an intriguing character, as is her job, I'm looking forward to reading more of her. I had trouble with Janus, the name meant I kept picturing a woman, even after finding out he's a man. I'm hoping that we'll see more of Rachel and a certain someone in later books (spoiler, so I'm not naming names). The story flowed well and it's quite a quick read since it's not too long.


Amazon UK: The Stubborn Dead

Breedism

Today I'd like to talk about breedism. It's something that I always see in the media, and it's something that never fails to get me riled up.

The above types of dog, if involved in an incident, are described as being "devil dogs". Especially Rottweilers and Staffordshire Bull Terriers.
I have worked with animals for about 10 years now and, of the above types of dog, I rarely see aggressive ones. For each type, I could count on one hand how many aggressive dogs I have seen. The problem with these dogs are the types of people that buy them. A lot of idiots that think they're "hard" will buy these breeds as a status symbol. Then they don't train them right, or purposefully train them to be aggressive to make seem even "harder".
When truthfully, they're actually just complete dicks that are doing more harm than good.
I'm always reading letters, or such like, from parents and other dog owners saying these dogs should be banned, should all be muzzled etc. Again, the people that write these letters know nothing of what they're writing about.


Now, every Vet Nurse I know, has a breed that they have had run ins with in the past and are wary of. That's not to say we think they're all aggressive and must all be muzzled, my breed?

West Highland White Terriers





Most that I meet in practice are snappy. But I'm not running around saying all Westies should be banned and muzzled, calling them "devil dogs". I'm just more wary around them than other breeds. Although with the small aggressive dogs, I think it's because they're spoiled when they're pups and then, when they're older, it's too late to do anything about it.


So, my biggest bugbear is with the media always blowing these things out of proportion, and idiots buying dogs they know nothing about. So, if you're going to buy a dog? Research the breed first. Take it's training seriously. And socialise from a young age. If every dog owner did thise, we'd see less "devil dog" stories in the media.


To finish this off, here's some cute pictures of some cute puppies. And the classic "staffie smile".

Painting The Future by Louise Hay & Lynn Lauber

Jonathan Langley's life took a devastating turn when he lost his eyesight to a rare illness. Once a successful painter and printmaker, Jonathan now lives in complete darkness, rarely leaving his apartment and angry at the world. When he encounters his precocious 11-year-old neighbor, Lupe, the two form an unlikely friendship. Her cheerful presence shatters his hardened exterior, revealing a gentle man struck by tragedy. Lupe leads him to a fresh perspective by showing him the power of kindness, compassion, and love.

Release Date 6th February 2012

I found this story kind of strange, there didn't actually seem to be much of a story. There was stuff happening, but if you asked me right now to briefly describe the story, I really couldn't. Although, in all honesty, if you wanted it very brief? A man and a young girl become friends. That's pretty much it.

It was very strangely written. There were tiny little scenes with about 2 minutes worth of dialogue, so you were never really given any time to get into it before it switched again. Maybe this is why I find it difficult to pin down a story.

It was a decent enough read. If you're not too fussed on storyline or character development and just want a light read where you can switch off? Then I guess you might like this one.


Buy Painting the Future from Amazon.

Going The Distance by Angela Addams

Ronan’s been in love with Steph Randell since they were teenagers. Pierced by Cupid’s arrow as a teen, the country boy fell hard for her.

As an award-winning actress, Steph has a mind of her own and is blinded by her ambition. Yet, for all her money and fame, the only time she truly finds peace is in Ronan’s arms. But she thinks that all she needs is a friend with benefits.

Cupid messed up and needs to fix things — an incredible boon if he can succeed. All he has to do is show Steph what she is missing and prove to Ronan that Steph is worth fighting for. What will Steph risk for love? And what is Ronan willing to give up to get his girl?

An enjoyable little sequel in the Cupid's Conquest series. In my review for Gunshy I speculated about each story being about a different couple, that is indeed what's happening in this.

Ronan is a nice male lead but I found myself really disliking Steph. She's one of those spoiled little brats that blames everything on someone else. Even though I knew they were going to end up together, I still think Ronan could do better. There were a few little editing mistakes in this, just little things but they still bug me. And I know that has nothing to do with the story, it's a personal bug of mine. The story was good and a nice follow on from Gunshy.


Amazon UK: Going the Distance